Facing the Giants

I just came from seeing the movie "Facing the Giants" which opened today. My friend and host of the last couple of months, Dave Nixon, was a co-producer and the assistant director. He even has a cameo as "Mr. Jones," the grey bearded man in the office with the real estate developer dad of one of the players. His long time D.P., Bob Scott, shot it with Dave's Panasonic Varicam hi-definition camera in 720p using the Pro-35 convertor and Panavision lenses. The edited video was transfered to 35mm prints for the theatres and it looks really good. Not quite 35mm quality, but like very good 16mm or a bit better. Quite amazing that it was originated on video. You would never know it. 720p has a much more film-like quality than the even higher resolution 1180i format. Okay so enough techie talk. As I have noted in my "about me" info here, I don't take well to sports that involve balls. I'm not a football guy. I don't think I have ever watched a game all the way through and could probably count on my ten fingers the times I have even watched it at all. I admit I only went to see the film because of my friend's involvement and because I wanted to see how the hi-def technology fared going up on the big screen. But as it happened, it was a story I needed to hear. It's all about God being God and doing whatever he wants however he wants to do it. It's a "little film," to be sure. It came out of a church of a few hundred people outside of Atlanta whose members decided to take on the giant task of making a feature movie. You oughtta go see it. It's inspiring and encouraging.

It was a big night for God in the movies. Before "Giants" started there was a preview for "One Night with the King" which looked great on the big screen. There was also one for something I had heard nothing of, "Jesus Camp." The quality of that one looked miserable. Like it was shot on standard def DV. And though the bias of it's makers wasn't evident in the trailer, I got the impression it wasn't going to make Christianity look very good. Even if the intent was positive, it makes Christianity out to look a lot like brainwashing. Not the best light. So I don't think I'd recommend that one.

Wolfgang Puck's Pizza

I ate one today. Man was it delicious. I happened to be at Disney Westside late this afternoon with an hour to kill and I was starving. Instead of a $4 hotdog at the movie theatre, I decided to splurge a little more and enjoy one of the tastiest things I've ever eaten. Created by a celebrity cook. It just goes to show one that it's possible to become rich and famous doing just about anything if one is good enough at it.

Inside Out

The Bible is called a "living" book. To me this means that one can reread a passage and always find a new depth of meaning, an added insight. There's always a little something more just around the corner. And this like with no other book. It' quite uncanny. God speaks through it in the now and sometimes it is startling, sometimes a whisper. This morning I was reading Psalm 33. I have always liked the part about "Sing to him a new song" because I always like learning and singing and playing new songs. It's nice to know one is being obedient to God in doing something one enjoys. In that regard, on down the chapter there is something that is usually taken as a warning: "From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth - he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do." Okay, so he is always watching me. That can be a nervous thing at times, but usually it's good to know he's watching out for me. But the twist of the day for me is "...who forms the hearts of all..." He wired up my heart. He designed the way I feel about things. The joys and sorrows and ambitions and longings I experience are functioning according to his careful crafting. So his watching is not as a big brother policeman but as one more intimately familiar and concerned with how I experience things and respond to them and feel and care about them than I am. He is more deeply inside of me than I am myself. He knitted me together in my mother's womb. "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Sam. 16:7) He not only sees past the exterior to my heart, a very comforting thought, but he sees it from the inside out.

Sailboats are beautiful things

Come to think of it, they rank right up there not far beneath the female figure and fruit as popular art subjects. Almost every one of Thomas Kinkade's seascapes has a sailboat in it. They inspire so many metaphors. You just can't help but look at them. The other evening I was out dallying to and fro across the small part of the lake. I noticed a couple of women sitting on a dock. Then I realized they were there to watch me. Well, the boat. I've never seen anybody sitting on a dock watching a fishing boat or a ski boat.

Vapor

For most of us three score and ten
and some go through in one smooth arc
But some will crash, get stuck in park,
or veer and wander in the dark
and have to start over again

Work and Reward

Working man will chase the dollar
sweaty brow and soiled blue collar
Government gets in his pocket
funding waste that's on their docket

One man rolls the dice and wins
lawyers help him payoff keep
Rich get richer in spite of sins
accumulating while they sleep

Others roll the dice and loose
take it on the chin and fall
for the venture that they choose
High hopes lost and feeling small

Haves and have nots side by side
share the same air and the sun
Walk through life with shame or pride
Peace or strife when day is done

"Labor hard, you'll do alright,"
relationship seems not in sight
In and out will roll the tide
regardless of the path that's tried

Light to keep going

"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall."

Psalm 18: 28-29

Dawn Patrol

This morning I was up at dawn as is required to get up to the video truck and get it where it needs to go in time for the church service shoot. The color of the dawn coming over the lake was so gorgeous I had to get out back and snap a few shots. (Click the image to make it big and enjoy the colors. I didn't touch this with Photoshop. The image is exactly as it came out of the camera and the colors looked just like it.) I thought about the old saying, "Red sky at night, sailor's delight, red sky in the morning, sailors take warning." It turned out to not be a very good day for sailing, but not because of bad weather. It was beautiful but almost no wind all day. Dave's son and his college buddies came for the afternoon so it was wakeboarding wall to wall on nice smooth water. I almost made it to the next square with my new wakeboarding skills. I just almost, so very close, should have made it, did a 180 turn around on flat water. Just couldn't ride away from it though. And I came so close to jumping clear across the wake. But my old body ran out of steam before I could make it all the way. At the end of the day I showed the boys a little old school on the slolom ski. Didn't hurt my hip this time. In fact, I think the overstretch I did last time actually helped in the long run. I've had less pain overall since the severe pain of the stretch went away. Now I'm that wonderful played out tired that only comes from a day in the sun on the water. About the best kind of tired there is.

Lucky 13

This morning I read Psalm 13. "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" I thought; yes, how long? Then I looked up and saw the otherwise still water rippling from the breath of a gentle wind. He is here. He is moving all around me. I just have to open my eyes to see it. The blessings are so many. And the difficulties are assured to be under His control and promised to be for my ultimate good. So, on to the end of the Psalm: "But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." And so, I sang.

Sunset Sail

Alone in the World

Limitation, loss, loneliness
Lying awake at night
Gaping hole where a heart should be
Endure through days of stress
When and when not to fight?
And what in the world to do with me?

Fun and frightening is the voyage
Will it run or soon capsize?
Shove off and risk with sails unfurled
All possessions locked in storage
Foolish one who even tries?
Tricky maneuvers alone in the world

Solo

So my second time out in the Cape Cod Mercury was solo. I was a little nervous for the first half hour or so. I hadn't sailed myself in almost 30 years. But it came back pretty fast and I got the rigging worked out okay. Almost tipped it over a couple of times but after a couple of hours I was feeling pretty confident. Next time out I'll have to try flying the spinnikar. Never had one of those to play with before. Watch for a picture.

Ride the Wind

It took most of yesterday to get the fittings all set. We also cut holes in the seats, which had accumulated a good bit of water over the years, and installed drain plugs. Also cut a drain hole in the stern. Unfortunately the hole size recommended for the plug was too big so I had to do some more quick fiberglass work and then recut a smaller hole. But we still managed to get in the water and get in a beautiful sail coming back in just after dark. Dave says the boat sails faster and better than ever before. Sure is a relaxing and peaceful way to glide about the lake.

Finally Finished

The sailboat is done. It took about ten to twenty times more time and effort than I bargained for, but instead of a few patched up holes it got all the old bottom paint stripped off, lots of fiberglass reinforcment and smoothing, and three coats of new finish. A few more fiberglass repairs and paint to the interior yesterday and it's officially ready to go. Tomorrow Dave's son and a bunch of his college buddies are supposed to come by for some wakeboarding and the plan is for the gang to carry it to the water and launch it.

Refurbing what is old and broken seems to always be more difficult and more time consuming than building something from scratch, though at first glance you would think it would be much easier. There are always so many unknowns hiding and hard to get at weaknesses. But it's good to see something go on and not just go to waste. Well, I'm glad to have that project behind me. Maybe I'll have some sailing pictures here soon.

Cause and Lack of Effect

An old friend called me yesterday to encourage me. In fact, he was in dire need of encouragement himself. It ended up flowing both ways and was a blessed time. One of the things we spoke of was a project he had initiated and spent a huge amount of time and effort on. This idea was something undeniably exactly in the middle of God's agenda as revealed in the New Testament. It would seem to be a no-brainer that it would be something that God would desire to be accomplished and that he would bless it - grease the rails so to speak. But the continual obstacles that have befallen the effort have come close to shutting him down. It seems this is the normal mode and not the exception. God seems to want to make sure that every such effort is of himself and we must be thoroughly convinced at the end that he accomplished it and we were mere vessels. Pride in our own doing is completely unacceptable to him. Indeed, a broad reading of scripture shows that pride is what he hates above all else. Ultimately unbroken pride is the unpardonable sin as it chooses to deny his glory and his gifts to us.

Anyway, back to our frustration. I was sharing with my friend that his experience was something with which I was very familiar. But there seems to sometimes come a time when it's not a matter of a wall to be overcome by faith. Sometimes it is a wall that stands. At least for a time. Maybe for a very long time. And we wear ourselves out physically and/or in faith trying to get past it. The only answer is to camp out in that spot and wait. Just wait. At some point, God provides a way. Or not. This makes absolutely no sense. Why would God allow failure when the goal is to obey him? To accomplish what he told us we are to be about in this life? To do something that is of no self interest and is of no direct personal benefit to us? Rather it is something that is costing us dearly? Yet the blockage stands as a personal failure.

It is a mystery. There is no answer. There is no logical explanation, really. The only thing to do is to trust God and wait on him. He has his plan and it is so very much bigger than any of us and the big picture is impossible for us to see. I am a small cog in his grand scheme. The best I can do is to be as obedient and available as I am able to be and not worry that my particular corner of the mechanism seems to have no dynamic at any given moment. Our grand ideas for contributing to the building of God's Kingdom may never budge. I may never understand why in this life. But I cannot know all that is going on. And I must be at peace with that.

Cause and Effect

I've noticed a pattern in the way God seems to work. When one is prompted that something needs to be accomplished and he is in it, if one fails to respond, the thing does not happen. Or perhaps is done by another. But if the effort and creativity and resources are expended, often the thing happens but not as a result of those investments. The answer comes from a completely different quarter. It would seem this might be God's way of showing us that he is involved. That the answer came from him. By this he tenderly reveals himself to us in a subtle yet powerful way and gains glory for himself in our souls. I was thinking of this after reading something from Charles Spurgeon yesterday:

“We use the means, but the blessing does not spring from the means. We dig a well, but heaven fills it with rain. The horse is prepared against the day of battle, but safety is of the Lord. The means are connected with the end, but they do not of themselves produce it.”

Coming to a Theatre Near You...

I saw my old friends, Matt and Laurie Crouch this morning at a preview screening of the new movie "One Night with the King." I hadn't really had any contact with Matt in years but we picked right up where we left off when I was working on and off with his then newborn company, Gener8Xion entertainment. (pronounced "generation") I spent a good many weeks editing TV shows on an Avid sitting on his dining room table. (an aside: I did some preaching shows making 28:30 episodes out of sermons that went on for an hour or so. I regularly made charismatic theology much more orthodox!) Looks like I may get some more work there. Anyway, they are running around the country showing a 25min., highly condensed version of the film which is to open on 1,000 screens Oct. 13. It's a bit rough with a temporary sound mix and unfinished computer graphics. But all in all, this is an amazing film. If you have seen one of the previous films Matt produced ("China Cry," "Carman: The Champion," "Omega Code"), you will be surprised by the scope and quality of the new film. It's a brilliant interpretation of the story of Esther based on a book novelization. It was shot entirely in India using incredible locations such as a huge castle complex and has very impressive costumes. Peter O'Toole and Omar Sharif are in the cast (first time together since "Lawrence of Arabia") as well as John Noble from "Lord of the Rings." The previously unknown Tiffany DuPont in the lead role of the Jewish queen is captivating. Visually it's stunning. Tapping into the resources of the Indian "Bollywood" system and using locations unfamiliar to western audiences was an idea that really paid off. It has a big look. Really big. The movie not only raises the bar way up for Matt's work, but also for Christian filmmaking in general. Go see it Oct. 13. You won't be disappointed.

Oh, don't be put off by the quality of the graphics I put here. They don't do the project justice. Go see the trailer and you will see what I mean:

http://www.8x.com/onenight/

Lectric

Handy Inventions

Old and new:

Favors Due

I started reading through Job. This morning I read something Max Lucado had to say in response to it:
__________

"God owes no one anything. No reasons. No explanations. Nothing. If he gave them, we couldn't understand them.

Which makes the conclusion of the book all the more moving. Even though God owed Job nothing, he gave him everything. New health, new buiness, new family. And most of all, new insight.

God is God. He knows what he is doing. 'When you can't trace his hand, trust his heart.' "

9/11

Was watching some of the coverage tonight about 9/11 five years later. At one point there was a short piece asking, "where were you when it happened?" We'll all remember that. Just like those of us old enough will remember where we were when hearing about president Kennedy's assasination. I can still see the image from my first grade desk in the middle of the room, looking up the row of other students in front of me to where our beloved teacher, Miss Nelson, put her head on her desk and started crying after the announcement from the principal came over the PA speaker behind her. Five years ago this morning I was driving to my teaching job at the college and heard the first report on my car radio. I thought of the image of the B-25 that crashed into and lodged in a high floor of the Empire State Building during WWII and thought it curious that it had happened again in New York. But when I got to the school I was able to get near a TV and saw the second tower hit and saw them fall. I knew the world would never be the same. And it certainly hasn't been. Almost nothing in my world is the same as it was then. The seismic changes seemed to keep happening on the comparatively tiny scale of my personal life. So much loss. Because of what happened five years ago, a lot of people are crawling into their beds alone tonight. It has nothing to do with 9/11, but I'm about to as well. So much pain every night.

Garage Band

I'm not much of a schmoozer, but an opportunity came my way today. I got another call from Doug this afternoon. I had been working on the sailboat most of the day and was getting a bit tired of it. He said he'd been inivited to a block party by a friend of his who I had spent an evening with one time a year or two ago at the condo. That night we had a couple of guitars handy and we had played a bunch of music on the porch. For tonight they were putting together a little band to play for the neighborhood and Doug got me invited to join them. Well, it had escaped me the first time I had met this guy that he worked for a company that could give me some convention camera work. In fact, all the guys in the band work in the AV business. The bass player might get me some work at the big hotel where he is the AV honcho. I have already done several shows in the ballroom of that hotel. Anyway, we were all crammed into a garage and had a grand time playing all kinds of mostly old music for a driveway and front yard full of folks sitting on lawn chairs eating bar-b-q. One of the guys brought a nice sound system borrowed from his employer. I did "Heart of Gold" with the harmonica hanging around my neck and everybody liked that. One of the guys had a nice American built Strat that I ended playing about half the time and that was cool. We were all of similar ability and it was just a bunch of fun. I'm not much of a lead player but I've been working on it quite a bit and none of the other guys played lead at all so I got all the solos. My two scales stood me in good stead and they went pretty well. And I got free food. And since I was making business contacts, and possibly quite valuable ones at that, I put the mileage there and back in the logbook for the deduction. Oh, and I now have one fan in Orlando. Some lady gushed over my playing. But then, I think she'd had quite a bit of beer by then. So all in all that was an unexpected evening of fun. The most I've had in a good while.

Handy Little Chart

My mom sent this to me this morning. I do agree, it's pretty handy.

_________________________________

HANDY LITTLE CHART -

YOU SAY
GOD SAYS
BIBLE VERSES
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

Uncanny Timing

The phone rang last night and it was my friend Doug, the camera jib guy. He wanted to know if I wanted to come out to his condo at the beach sometime this next week. And, oh, by the way, his roomate of three and a half years (at his house in Orlando) just gave notice he's moving out in a month and would I be interested in staying there? The rent seems a little steep to me but may be in line. I don't know at this point. But the timing blew me away. In any case I'm quite encouraged.

Out the Door Again

Just found out last night that I have to leave my current accomodations in about a month. Thought I would be here longer than that. Was just getting a bit settled. Now I'm unsettled. Again. To say the least.

Vegas Visions

I gathered some interesting textures and shapes in Vegas and had a bit of time with Photoshop to mess with a few of them.

Vegas Views

The MGM Grand pool isn't too condusive to swimming laps. The water is hot as soup. And it's the only one I know of where while swimming you smell cigarette smoke, alcohol, and lion manure.

Vegas Visuals

Some pix from the show I just worked

The bare stage with the overhead light grid hoisted

Ready for show time.

David "Zook" Zuckerman, lighting maestro

Programable moving lights make all kinds of dynamics possible within the show.

Hadn't seen this one before. It's made by High End Systems and has a video projector and a camera built into it. Opens up some amazing new possibilities.

The view from my perch.

Video World is a bit more complex than the rig in the trailer.

Virtually unlimited virtual monitors with the Pinnacle switcher system.

Love Hurts

Absolutely nothing new or original in this post. Even ripped off the title. All has been expressed thousands of times in hundreds of ways and thought of silently by millions. Probably billions. Perhaps by everybody. But I'm one more who has been pondering and I feel like writing it down.

Love is pain. Well, it's not exactly equal. But to know one is to know the other. Love is the essence of being human. It is the thing we live and work and die for above all else. But as wonderful as the experience of loving and being loved is, and as highly vaunted and valued it is, it is a passing, ephemeral, fleeting thing. Some seek it all their lives and never do find it.

The prospect of love surrounds and haunts us all our lives. We may try to ignore it, devalue it, live without it, but there is no escape. Childhood, friendship, courting, marriage, parenthood, old age. It's always floating around. All too often just out of reach. For every fleeting moment of joy, comfort, pleasure, satisfaction, there seem to be interminable days, weeks, months, and years of loss, agony, and ache. But to choose not to love is tantamount to choosing not to be human. I have long thought that creativity most defines us as in the image of a creator God. But that is second to choosing love and choosing the inherent vulnerability that is part and parcel to it. And the virtual guarantee of pain and sorrow for it. This is what makes us a reflection of God's image who chose to love and to suffer. Perhaps this is what “sharing in the sufferings of Christ” is all about. Not some rarefied spiritual state that only a few attain to. Not crawling up stairs on bleeding knees. Not seeing stigmata appear on one's palms. Perhaps it is just the simple decision to love instead of hate or ignore, and to choose to take on the hurt.

So love we must. Even if we are all alone. To decide not to is to debase oneself to the state of an animal. And that is very possible. I sense that the city I happen to be in at the moment has attracted a good many in that condition. I look down from my fifteenth story perch and my heart is heavy for them. And for the many other loves of my life.