Below the Line

In feature film production, the budget is generally broken into two sections referred to as “above the line” and “below the line.” Above the line are costs that are generally negotiated such as the contracts for lead actors, director, and the director of photography. To get serious consideration in the market a film generally needs a recognized name in the way of a director or one or more of the actors or the script writer, etc. These “names” command higher than standard “scale” rates based on previous successes. When a director or a star becomes so popular that having them on board all but guarantees people will pay to see the film, that name is considered “bankable” and that person can command the exorbitant amounts we associate with mega rich movie stars. Below the line are production, post-production, and distribution costs that are basically set and predictable. These consist of hundreds of line items such as the day rates of camera operators, sound technicians, gaffers (lighting), grips (sets and props), art department, editors, and things like film or tape stock, crew meals, and on and on.

My point is that on any production, there are going to be certain things that are necessary and fairly easy to budget because the market sets a price for what each crew member or piece of equipment or expendable item costs. But they are required every time one sets out to make a film. You always have to have a camera or you won't have a film no matter what else you bring to the table. And the cost per day and per minute of stock exposed is basically the same from project to project. But the above the line items are all negotiable. One has to cover the necessary below the line costs first. Then one can figure out how much money is available to go after above the line talent. If there is not much left, then one may have to go with unknown actors or an unknown director who will work for less and may be a small percentage of the overall expense. Or, it may be that a huge star will be hired who will assure a much bigger box-office but that actor will make a huge percentage of the overall cost of making the film. It all varies and it's all a big gamble. Sometimes the big star walks off with his or her huge check and the film is a flop in spite of their name recognition. And sometimes a sleeper with all unknowns is so good and/or hits the right buttons at just the right time that it becomes a hit that makes money all out of proportion to what it cost to make. You just never know.

So, on to my point. I got to thinking how our lives in general have below the line and above the line elements. There are basic things we all need to live: food, water, shelter, clothing. Then there are other things that we may or may not actually need but most of us generally think we do like electricity, a car, health care, telephones, and education. And we have needs that are a bit harder to quantify in the way of mental and emotional health: family, friends, support groups, clubs, church, time alone, hobbies, etc. So these are more or less the necessities of life. And most of us have family who also need these things so we have the burden of providing for them. I am calling all of these things below the line items. They must be provided or life just can't go on. The babies must be fed.

Then there is life above the line. These are things we aspire to. These are our dreams, our passions, our ambitions and goals. To build something. To influence people. To create something of beauty or meaning. To make a contribution. To leave something behind. These are considered our “accomplishments” in a way anything to do with survival is not. And they are focused outward beyond our immediate circle. Countless books and motivational speakers and pretty pictures hanging in offices with poignant quotes at the bottom encourage us to dream dreams and reach for the stars and make it happen, etc., etc. These things are the negotiables. They are not absolutely necessary for survival. Indeed, most of the world never has the option to include any of it in their lives. And what one can do in that realm is governed by what is left over after the below the line items are dealt with. For a small percentage, below the line is a mere trifle, really, and their attention and time and energy is mostly applied to above the line pursuits. And most of the encouragement for us to do the same comes from these kinds of folks. But for most of us, we are mostly consumed by dealing with what is below the line. We seldom if ever get our heads above the surface, which could equate to “the line,” to be able to live there much.

That is just life. The vicissitudes of birth, ability, nationality, opportunity, ambition, education, health and on and on work together either for or against a person being able to rise above the basic needs of a living human being. Most of the world ends up living way down below the line. A small percentage, which nonetheless constitutes a very large number of people, live way above it. It would likely seldom occur to members of either of these groups to be much concerned with what goes on on the far side of the line. Unless you are a politician. Then you pretend to be.

But then there are those, also a large group, at least in my country, who hover around the line. At some periods of life the necessities consume all. And sometimes we are plowed under by them. Other times we seem to have enough of a surplus of money, time, and energy to take on something bigger than basic survival; something noble, something righteous.

And now I am funneling the thought closer to what has been bothering me. We hear messages encouraging us to be about the big things, the big ideas, the motivation to get up, get out there, and do whatever it takes to make something of our lives. In other words, to get up above that line and make our mark on the world. I have been one who has listened and heeded and strived and stretched to do that. What I'm faced with now is that being one of the line straddling, middle class folks who has accepted the challenge of getting over that line, I have done so by borrowing against below the line budget items. I have paid for my risky above the line ventures into the noble yet not entirely necessary with below the line resources. I have thus short-changed some of the more necessary things of life. I and my family have always had shelter and clothing and food. But some of the other things have suffered. The cars have always been old with fears of breakdown always hovering. Health care provision has been spotty with more fear along with that. Time that should have been spent on primary relationships was given to blessing strangers leaving emotional hunger where I should have been providing abundance. And neglect of other basics of life I didn't consider important enough or just didn't think about has left vital infrastructure crumbling or completely broken from poor maintenance.

I am now well into the last half of my life having thrown myself at what I believed to be a calling, having taken risk after risk sacrificing security and what I considered self-interest for the sake of what I thought was "the right thing to do.” I look back and see some good that came of the pursuits that were the result of my personal philosophy. But I also look now and see how the financial and emotional debt I incurred in those decades has come due and I'm left wanting. I have terrible doubt about whether it was the right path. When I rose to the challenges and said “Yes! Here am I! Send me! I'll do it!” I thought that somehow it would result in the below the line part of my life falling into place. Well, it didn't. It was wishful thinking. Probably the worst kind of thinking there is. I was afraid of being one of the many who look back on their life and wish they had tried to do more with it. I'm looking back wishing I had tried to do less. Wishing I had cared less about the world around me and minded my world at home more thoroughly. To have invested my time and emotional energy and what little money I ever had my hands on more on me and mine and given less away. To have lived much more simply. More like a survivor. I now have no choice in the matter.

I never dreamed I would ever feel this way. It may sound like I'm getting into a bitter state here. I'm really not. But I am confused and very sad about the turn my life has taken. I have been reduced to much less of what I thought I was about. The Bible talks about wheat being beaten and pounded and threshed down to just a handful of grain. That's where I've been living; on the threshing floor. It's a place very very far below the line.