More on Cultural Imperialism

I had a rude awakening when I got married. Somehow I managed to grow into adulthood maintaining the notion that every family did things pretty much like my family did them. And that within that sphere, my personal way of doing things made the most sense and was thus the best way. Of course I squeezed the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube and of course I married someone who just grabbed hold and squeezed wherever. Amazingly we have survived 25 years of each other but still occasionally spat over such trivial things.

In my life I’ve had the opportunity to spend time in dozens of different countries and the growing experience of being the odd one in various cultures that are vastly different from mine. I have learned that often different does not mean better or worse than, just different than. Anyone who has been abroad with their eyes open knows what I’m talking about. And you don’t have to go down this road too far to realize that it is very possible to appreciate something about a culture without even liking it. And one can appreciate and value people one does not particularly like.

It’s not so difficult to come to terms with this concerning people on the other side of the world that you are only visiting for a few days or weeks. But the same thing can be said for people in our own towns or even our own houses. It seems to be a part of the human condition to want those around us to do things our way or at least to see things our way. For many this is an obsession. Control is certainly not the answer. Most people naturally resent and resist manipulation. Even if we can effect change the odds are at least even that we won’t like the change any more than the original. Acceptance is a far better tactic. I’ve even found out to my dismay that with an attitude of acceptance, I occasionally learn that someone else’s way of doing a thing is actually better than my perfectly thought out method for reasons that I had never before considered. Acceptance (me accepting you and you accepting me) is a fundamental need of human life. But it seems that every day in every place it gets distorted into the desire to control. Some have suggested that this is the curse of Eve, but it seems to me it is no respector of sex.

It is taking me longer than most normal people, I think, but I am discovering that I am in fact not the center of the universe and that even on this little planet almost everyone alive could care less what I think. So, if indeed I do have something to offer those around me, it’s far better to let them discover it and decide without coercion that it is something they want. Acceptance is a far more effective agent of change than control. And I have to learn to be accepting of those around me because even if my logic is perfect, which it may or may not be, perfect logic that is ignorant of one or more facts can yield a completely wrong answer. I’ve come to believe (VERY STRONGLY!) that dogmatism is a dangerous activity to engage in. As a very wise person once said, in any given situation there is always something you don’t know.