Discipline

Discipline is something I’ve had a hard time with in my life. I have been able to accomplish a lot of things, but mostly as a result of obsessive-compulsive stamina hammering at a goal or a project with a defined beginning, middle, and end. Long-term discipline at something that just needs to be done day in and day out, year after year, ad infinitum – I’m not good at that. So I don’t feel very disciplined much of the time.

Last night I did twenty laps for the second day in a row. I usually skip a day or two in between. Then I did something that needed to be done that most of me did very much not want to do. It was really hard, and today I’m feeling the repercussions. Why, oh why does the right thing sometimes seem so terrible and the undoubtedly wrong thing seem so good? I don’t know, but right now it feels terrible.

Why, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say

Somewhere down the road
There’ll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Tho’ we cannot see it now
And somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

-Amy Grant