Lasting Change

A person encounters Christ in a personal way for the first time. There is passion. There is fire in the belly. Then, over time, it seems that all too often one settles into a "christian lifestyle" (note the lower-case "c") that has this identifiable look and feel about it, but the passion is gone. In fact, deep under the surface, if one is brutally honest, there is a current of subtle sin. Like a low-grade fever. It is "nice" sin. But the core of it is pride, selfishness, and fear. It's endemic in the church. It is horribly discouraging. It makes some, me included at times, want to completely blow away the Biblical command to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together. Great. Sin begets more sin. The blind lead the seeing astray. Speaking of leading, church leadership often seems to be the worst offenders in this area. Those whose livelihood depends on a paycheck from the church must deal with the added confusion of not only their spiritual life hanging in the balance but also their meal ticket. Grappling with personal sin and spiritual reality is way more complicated and scary when the welfare of your family is at stake as well as your pride. But to be crucified with Christ, to live a completely yielded life, to be truly whole, requires great risk. Without risk and pain, there is no gain. It's an irrefutable law of the universe. It holds at all levels in all realms. From a t-shirt at Gold's Gym to heaven. Even God the Father himself does not live outside this His own law. Christ the Son set the ultimate example.

So, I encounter truth. I see things I've never seen before. I dip into a depth of love I didn't know about before. And I'm profoundly changed. But my track record, our track record, the human condition, is to drift back away from this profundity over time. To ease acceleration to the point where I don't even realize the engine has ceased to run, the dynamo ceased to generate, and I'm coasting imperceptibly away from that wonderful truth. And into the "lifestyle" of truth I mentioned above, with an infusion, an infection of sin that is somewhat dormant, but debilitating. In fact, it is much harder to deal with than overt sin because it's like an inoculation. It actually fools me into believing that I'm okay while it fights off the real, Holy Spirit domination of my spiritual immune system. All while looking so pretty and healthy on the outside. Whitewashed tombs, I believe were Jesus' words.

Prayer for today:
God, truth can be so hard to see. And the closer we get to it, the more complex the later steps. Like half life. I seem to keep getting half-way there. Please help me to keep the truth you have revealed at the front of my consciousness. Keep me from drifting. Put a hedge around my heart that will keep the subtle sin at bay. Make the change you have started more than a moment in time. Make it permanent. Sear my soul. Brand me with this change. Let me wake up to it every morning and never forget. I know my human propensity. I know the fading effect of time. I see the colors fade as the rain and sun beats down. The bright red blood goes brown, then black as the air of earth does it's work. Lord, keep me hydrated with the air of heaven, so the blood stays brilliant red in my eyes. So the taste of copper bites in my mouth. So I never loose the gravity of the cost of this precious blood that washes my sin away. I am weak. You are strong. Help me carry this gift and keep it safe until I see you face to face.