Answers

I have been asking God for change and I have gotten some. A lot actually. My twice widowed mother has remarried and moved out from under my roof. My wife is off in another state attempting to lend aid and comfort to her younger brother in his death throes. My daughter has changed schools. My house is for sale. Some days it seems like the very fabric of the world is morphing. It's not all bad stuff. Several wonderful things have just happened. Two of my family's cars that I thought were gone and would have to be replaced have been restored to me. One that was broken and necessarily up for sale has been repaired and we are able to keep it. The other was declared dead by a mechanic but has nevertheless been restored to health and is running strong. In fact, another fine car has been given to me and so I have a four wheeled vehicle with a roof for my personal use for the first time in three or four years. With my mother's departure, and as a result of her new circumstances, some arrangements have been made regarding the sale of this house we shared that will have an unbelievable positive impact on our options for future housing. My marriage has faced an onslaught of assault on several fronts, any one of which could have easily blown us apart. Somehow, we have survived to this point, bloodied, but healing I think. And when the smoke of the trauma clears, I am trusting we will be stronger and wiser and more mature in love than ever. Some things I am doing physically to attempt to deal with all that is going on around me are resulting in some significant weight loss. The very flesh I'm living inside of is morphing slowly.

Thank you, God, for these answers. Thank you for these changes. Thank you for the wonderful gifts that are rocking my world and bringing relief to long carried burdens of stress. Thank you for the difficult, firey gauntlet of emotional upheaval that burns the dross from my soul. Thank you for allowing me to sense your very hands touching others through my own. I have tasted and known the sweetness of being the physical channel of your love to another human being. That is what I want to be changing into. Whatever else it takes, Lord, bring it on. The bad, the good, the ugly, the heart rending. Let my organism adjust to live on less, to need less, to take less, to be able to pour right back out most of what you pour in. You must increase. I must decease. Less is so much more.